June 19, 2017 2:34 p.m.
I miss you and just being with you. We were so blessed to have 33 years of marriage and 24 years serving the Lord together in ministry. I miss your quirky jokes, your smile, your passion for people and prayer, your positive attitude. I miss your love and passion towards me, talking with you at the close of the day, telling you ‘I love you’ and your touch… especially your touch.
Maybe you’re having a bad day or month. Maybe it has been a tough year. Maybe you have a dozen pretty good excuses for the choices you are making, your actions… attitude. Maybe you think you deserve happiness. Maybe you think you’ve got all the time in the world to get everything taken care of. To allow God to work on you. To get rid of some bad habits. To get your life re-prioritized.
Maybe you need to STOP thinking. You may be wrong about everything that truly matters.
How can you tell?? If you and the Lord aren’t touching base daily I would say You are wrong from the get-go. Your priorities are going to be a bit too a bunch out of whack! Been there done that. I took things for granted thinking there would be another time, another opportunity.
Some chances don’t come around again. Your choices are what you will live with after the moments have passed out of your grasp.
Your attitude – THAT time – that SOMEONE – said THAT. Your response was all WRONG!!
The people that you have become so comfortable with that you take their help, support and presence for granted. Yeah, they will start backing up and filling in the spot you vacated.
The time you spent talking and texting other people that left you feeling soooo socially engaged and comfortable that you locked up done for the day when you got around to the person you pledged to love and lift above all others. Not a marriage issue in the 80’s and 90’s but today it is ripping hearts and homes apart.
Even sitting down to read the Word, you may think you can grab it up whenever you get a second free but that is not guaranteed either. A holy God warns us to seek Him now.
Who all have we got in line in front of Him???
NO, do not keep reading until you answer the question. Who/what all have you got in line in front of Him?
Don’t tell me we are not messed up. We are messed up! And in the blink of an eye it could all change.
Take me, one hit on the head (okay so it was a 60 ft tree) and I wasn’t able to retain anything I read for almost a year. Now 9 years later I am good, except when it bails like it did four weeks ago. My response to time, people and even how I handle things will never return to what they were.
Take Mr. Norman, in his 60’s, healthy… he sat in Sunday School and bowed to pray with the class and when the prayer was over and he opened his eyes – he could not see. That was a month ago. His life, lifestyle and family and their lifestyles are making great adjustments trying to adapt. (This week they will fly to the Mayo clinic, please keep them in prayer.)
Take the young man that went out to ride his four-wheeler, back behind the house, before supper and had an accident and died on sight leaving a young wife and kids behind.
Nothing could change because everything on this side of eternity is over. The last things he did, or didn’t do… the last words he did or didn’t say… his last choice will echo in the minds of the people he loved forever.
Pleasure like beauty is fleeting. Our length of days on this earth are numbered.
One moment you hold it all in your hands and the next it is gone. Time. Opportunity. Love. Breath…. gone.
Once again a wave of grief swept over me as I thought of how long it had been since I had heard him say, ‘I love you’ or held me in the night. In desperation I tried to fill the silence by saying it to myself/Lenny audibly in a text. That’s just what we did sometimes when we weren’t able to be together just because… but I didn’t make it…
and I broke down and determinedly typed it instead through my tears.
Love you babe
You know we knew how much we loved each other (albeit we also knew how to hit each others buttons ;0) but at the close of the day we were in the same bed, spooning before morning.
Yet you can’t help but relive the last words spoken. The last day. The last everything. I know because I did and do still. I remember what I did and said and what he did and said. There are things in those last hours, days and weeks I would love to do over. There are things Lenny did and said that I know he would want to do over as well. Those are the things that haunt you when you lose someone. Those are the things those you leave behind will wrestle with long after you are standing in the presence of the Lord.
What kind of stuff are you leaving? Every day is a gift and opportunity to embrace the treasures God has graced your life with, do you take it all for granted? God? Your spouse? Your kids and family?
You’re making memories or wasting time. I’ll tell you one last thing. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for the time I spent in the Word. The truth and scripture I hid in my heart prior to September 2009 have been my anchor when all else failed to function. In 2009. On May 5, 2017. And today. If you are going to line it all out – Your life. Priorities… start with God.
I still love and miss you babe…