This morning I was setting under the bridge at Rogue River were Lenny used to go and read and pray.
I am sitting in the stillness. I am waiting on the Lord. I am remembering the bounty of blessings we experienced in this little community situated on the I-5 corridor. Memories.
Do I mourn or count blessings? Will I get swept up in a river of grief or lean into God in expectation of what He is doing? Will I question God’s wisdom?
In the quiet I wait for God to speak. It is a gift He has given that way often fail to embrace. God Spirit does speak to his people. And in this past year I have learned to rely on that more than ever before.
But occasionally comfort comes in a way that is not anticipated. And in this last year, when I was undone, what I heard in my grief was a message from my husband. His voice echoing within my heart… And without my journal in hand I grabbed what was near (my phone) and continued our conversation but this time I received a word rather than sharing…
July 4, 2017 11:42 a.m.
From Lenny to Sherry
Babe, I have loved you with an endless love to the best of my ability. I’ll see you soon my redneck girl and we will actually be all we desired to be for Him and each other. Love, Your Joe Cool, Superman😘
It brought a smile that replaced my fear. And a reminder that ‘we’ weren’t done and that the best was yet to come. The day went by in peace. I was better than good but there’s always tomorrow. My next tomorrow didn’t find me texting Lenny but texting our Dad… God.
July 5, 2017 4:40 p.m.
I dislike the plan, Lord. I miss my soulmate. I hate how we spent the last 4 months wrapped up inside and out with everybody’s burden and each other’s and unable to see ours… I find myself agitated playing church. I don’t know if or how to do this. LENNY, I need you! God I can’t do this… I want to come home too
Yuppp, looking back you can define things you’d do different. In the midst of the days and pain not so much… All you feel is the intensity of where you, are in the moment, and too often that leaves us undone.
But our God is a Comforter, Healer and a Good, good Father. And He catches the tears, understands the hurt and when we surrender all to Him… He carries us past it.
July 9, 2017 8:17 p.m.
How’s it going at home? I miss you but the team is moving forward and my spirit is at peace, enough so that I am comfortable taking my shoes off😊. It’s different not serving alongside you but it is here to do and God will lead me thru it. I did cry a bit today as I heard a couple, whose heart is church planting in Colorado Springs, share about their call and their determination to go regardless of whether or not they had financial support. Running on faith… like we use to on our journeys. And wow what a journey. I love you babe. I’m keeping the faith. Your lover, wife, helpmeet, and co-laborer. Thank you for how u loved others, but more importantly how you loved me… But most importantly how you loved Him. I’ll be there soon!
Not sure where this blog will find you today but wherever and however you are please don’t give up on this day, your future, a mission, your marriage or/ and especially God.