January 5, 2017 9:32 pm
I don’t miss you just a little… It’s a burning emptiness inside my soul. My heart is torn asunder but my feet are steady on the Rock. But oh my love, how I yearn for you. I regret every wasted minute… Every one, but especially the last ones. Love you babe. Forgive me… Pray for me and the saints. I am weary tonight.
9:32 pm From Lenny
Don’t slow down now. Stay in the Word. Get ready and hold fast, in season or out. Walk the walk. Finish the course. Dad’s got your back and you were right, you are one of His favorites… and will forever be mine.
We Were Legends. https://youtu.be/qelc4EOeqlc
Lenny, I’m trying… I remember who we were but can’t find who I am…
January 26, 2018. 4:58 PM
I see you. I also see you holding on so tightly… afraid. Look up and give me your hands. See the love in my eyes. See the pride I find in watching you live out your faith as a leader and release even your strength. Let God lift you, and us, up so we can continue our great adventure. Wanna go for one incredible ride? Then let go Babe. Give me your hands and let’s fly!!
It is hard to trust yourself after being a part of a team for so long. My weakness was covered by Lenny’s strength. My joy was entwined with his own. Our faith was yoked as we served. First night alone. First time at church alone. First anniversary. Firsts… And somewhere along the way realize they are forever embedded within you and with you wherever you go… Even on missions. Even to Ireland.
February 26, 2018. 6:21pm
Thank you for coming with me.
And then you come home having felt them with you every step of the way but you walk in the house and suddenly you feel once again so alone and you cry yourself to sleep and awake with a living nightmare…. Undone.
And finding you cannot outrun it, you armor up and hit your knees and wait for the One who says, He has. And you deliver scripture from your heart to heavens ears that pierce the power that would take you captive. And in the moments following God’s peace I hear my husband.
March 3, 2018. 4:08AM
Your name is Sherry Brewer, the wife of Lenny Brewer… my wife. You were right, I have never felt so alive. That being said – I can’t wait till you get home. Love, your Babe
And in that moment I knew that despite the struggles and the depth of loss I was going to be okay. However long this ‘blink of an eye’ would last – regardless of the days until I too went home the God that bound us in His wisdom would guard me until He united is again. The One who messed our hearts into one vessel and had forged our souls together still held us in hand. My world would say that’s impossible but our God does the impossible every day.