We are creatures of habit. I still talk to Lenny every night when I lay down. I look at a picture instead of him… But I still talk. I curl up and back into pillows just like it was him so we can spoon. And I still hear him. Sometimes I journal out so I can remember. And if mine, or his, phone was handy I would text him. But one day he spoke…
March 8, 2018. 8:47 PM
Tell the kids I love them and turn the phone off. Live on memories, my voice and God’s Word. God’s got you – it’s time to let go… it’s only for the blink of an eye. Love your macho mullet man, Prince Charming, Mr Incredible aka your Babe
Now you won’t recognize the tone just written above unless you were with us frequently. That inflection was reserved for when I was speeding or not listening or fixing to lay into something or someone. That tone meant ease up and listen to me. And I heard it and knew it was time… I’d already told our daughter but just couldn’t encourage her to go ahead and do it. SOOoooo he was stepping in and telling me.
I hear you… I hear Dad. I know. Don’t quit speaking in the stillness… I am so sorry. I want to be faithful but I yearn to be home. I hear you. I’ll finish up here and be there as soon as Dad says I am done.
I miss you holding me, sitting next to you on the couch, feeling your arm over me at night. Half of me left with you I feel it – it’s gone. But at the same time, half of you remained with me I see with your eyes, I stand and go as you did, I feel your urgency to share and dent the darkness, I feel your frustration with the world and the complacency that stands in the way and takes people captive.
I can’t go do the Sherry thing and hide in the woods, I am driven to stand in the gap and find and make disciples. Even though we reside in different countries – God established us as one.
My heart is eternally yoked with yours Lenny Brewer. Thank you for loving Him and me.
Sherry, I love you too Babe. Hold on, you’re doing great. I’m proud of you and so thankful you were mine. So thankful. Maybe I was God’s favorite.💒💑👫💕