I finished up camping. Pulled the trailer over to look at having some alterations made at Roetzels. Then I pulled into the church wondering who to bother.
Why?? What was wrong? Am I crying? Upset? No. No. No.
I am done camping and it is just time to park the camper. Park it where? Under my awning. Ughhhh is it even tall enough to house this thing! And can I get it in there Lord without hitting those eave thingies on the side and still have enough room to park another vehicle under there? Well humppppfff.
Problem is I don’t want to call anybody. I am a grown woman. I’ve raised kids. I’ve loved and helped a few of ya’ll raise kids. I am a Marine who worked in Motor T which means I drove trucks and BIG trucks and backed trailers. So I try praying and building myself up, ‘Chic you’ve done this before… lots of times. Okay so maybe you were in your teens but you can do it just don’t get in a hurry.’ Exhale… so here I go hoping no one is monitoring the church cameras :o)
And I did it! All by myself. Lenny had taken care of the toting and parking of our campers and trailers for 33 years. Today the job is there to do but not my husband – and NOBODY in heaven asks for a day pass back this direction – the job is mine to do and I (me and the Lord) did it.
You know we’ll only know what WE can do when we try. AND we’ll only know what God can do if we release ourselves and it to His hand.
In My Utmost For His Highest, Oswald Chambers said that believers need to think of themselves as a bow in God’s hand. He is the one with the vision to see the target. He alone understands the timing required. He KNOWS when everything is lined out for the perfect shot. He is ready and not in a hurry.
But us – as the bow, what are we thinking? We sit there drawn back tight and ready for action. The waiting is a strain as we are pulled to the max, taunt… having given all we have, growing weary of being stretched… surrendered yet soooo UNCOMFORTABLE!! But if we don’t tear ourselves away God will deliver beautiful, life-changing results.
I feel like I have spent this last year being stretched. Called to an action. Inhaling and exhaling while I consider the pros and cons and then bowing in surrender without understanding. Laying it down I just say, ‘I’m all in, Lord. Whatever you want – here I am.’ Let’s do ‘the’ thing.
If we don’t let God build us up in little things… even like battling my fear backing the camper up – we are like the man who hid his talents and we are not giving God opportunity to show that He is God within us. But if we just keep releasing all the BIG and little things, the spiritual and physical, the emotional highs and lows. If we trust, wait, seek and pray and stay in His shadow we will see targets bulls-eyed, hurdles cleared and giants fall.
I had just written the above portion through to the italics above when we left work for lunch today. After lunch I grabbed the post office box keys for the office and took off to run errands. While I was prepping mail to be sent off, I received a call from my publisher asking me if I would be interested in meeting with 80 other authors for a prepping conference before meeting with 7-10 movie producers who would interview us.
In that moment I felt exactly like I did sitting in my drive with that camper behind Lenny’s truck… scared, thinking I shouldn’t try VS I think maybe I can. Afraid and nervous and confidently shaking.
So I prayed and shouted out on FB for prayer and made some calls and caught back up at work and then here was my incomplete devo. Here was what God had been telling me an hour previously.
I don’t know what I can do but I trust what God can do… and even if He sent me to share my faith and story with one soul on the plane or on the ground – I’d do it. This makes backing that trailer look like a not so big of a deal… just saying LOL.