Man of Mine

So you may or may not have noticed a lull in blogs. I would love to say I stepped away to  a coastal retreat and wrote while I was being wooed by the tide OR maybe that I had been sitting on some mountain where cool breezes swept through and cleared my mind and ushered in inspiration. But alas, the truth is I ended up sitting in my sun-room and the only surging tide I heard was traffic on highway 36 and the only breeze I felt was from a window unit trying to keep up the Arkansas heat and humidity.

Now I grew up here and the south is beautiful so don’t get me wrong we do have some mountains, lakes and rivers but you aren’t going to find the word ‘cool’ ANYWHERE around here when they are talking about our summertime weather. I am thinking I may need to relocate as soon as my grandson finishes little league every year until Labor day because I feel that I need to do is have someone add water and I’ll melt plumb away like sugar… or the wicked witch from the Wizard of OZ.

Back to the book.

Three days and one all-nighter down. So add another 46 hours to what I put in while in Ireland and we are at 146+ hours thus far. Conservatively, I would say I am still at least another 100 hours away from having a rework that is ready to go to visit the publisher.

But I am a trifle stuck. You see this next book will cover our 10 years 1983 – 1993. (Sorry parents, it will not address parenting strategy… our daughter was disappointed so I will go ahead and give you that news now so you can move past it :o) It will cover marriage the excitement, the struggles, the hidden issues that arise with time, faith vs flesh, God’s sovereignty and depression / satanic warfare… life.

This is actually where it is getting complicated because as I tread through the past God keeps showing me things that I didn’t see then and I keep going: Aw-man! Why didn’t we catch that! Dang! I am sorry that was ALL me.

Some would say, ‘Well, what’s the big deal? You are a Christian so you forgive and distribute grace and step pass stuff right?’

Yuppppp you do. We did. Love propelled us to use the grace and forgiveness God so freely offered and demonstrated toward us. BUT… But the problem I am seeing is that there is a difference in

someone forgiving me and us moving forward without looking back

AND

someone forgiving me and us moving forward without me getting still before the Lord and examining my part in the struggle, fuss, fight or issue.

It’s not that you can’t move forward and embrace forgiveness – you can and should. You can’t let the devil beat you up when you fail or mess up… you have to rise back up and embrace God’s forgivness. Proverbs 24:16 says that ‘for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again…’ NIV

We are called to rise up but it is always best to stay on our knees long enough for God to reveal and deactivate anything that is within us that brings sin and storms into your home and the halls of your heart.

For example: You are in a war-torn country and your family is blessed to have one of those giant rats that can find land mines (which is amazing!) When you find one would you not mark it and immediately make arrangements to dismantle it? Are you going to leave it in the back yard and just assume that when your kids are playing chase or you are mowing the yard and taking a call that you’ll remember where it is?

I ain’t doing that! I can’t remember where I parked my car when I went into Wal-Mart fifteen minutes ago!!  I am going to do whatever NEEDS to be done to take care of the of that landmine while it is still on my mind. PERIOD.

We all have ‘stuff’ that has been ushered in or that we have picked up and it is an issue. If you think you don’t have issues then you are delusional. Ask someone that knows you well. I am for real. If you don’t see or need confirmation: Get prayed up and tell somebody to tell you about your ‘real’ self. If you are married give your spouse permission to share but first promise not to get defensive and start up WW III.

Here’s the problem God is in the process of sanctifying His children and that means flushing out those things that don’t reflect His character so we need to get to dismantling the bombs hidden within our heart. Those things that make us less than what He has equipped us to be.

I looked at ten years of marriage and found things lurking there that still lingered in the shadows of our individual hearts twenty and thirty years later and still held the power to bring friction into our love affair. Oh they weren’t going to keep us from running the race or loving each other like crazy BUT they weighed us down (from living in the fullness of our love) and sometimes took us down (leaving us feeling separated though we are in the same house) and on occasion blew up (and brought pain to the one God had knit our hearts to).

You know as a believer in a relationship (work or family or friends) you may think the little lies, the way you spend money, your controlling nature, your obsession with making money, attitude, bitterness, issues and addictions etc., are understood and given grace because people know you aren’t perfect… but God. What does God think about those things you are stepping over instead of considering?  He doesn’t expect perfection – He expects you and I to pursue Holiness faithfully. He expects us to learn from the battles we fight that we suffer loss from.

I realized yesterday as I finished the reread that I haven’t hit many of those old land mines lately – you see I can’t fuss with a spouse that God has took home. (Okay I still do sometimes but don’t start looking for me a shrink to visit weekly.)

As much as we enjoyed making up I would have rather never walked heard the thunder in the horizon and walked through the day, every day with nothing but clear skies, cool breezes, the tide coasting in on my feet and my hand in Lenny’s every minute of every day in every year we were graced to have.

Don’t wait for something to blow-up or for the thunder to rumble in the heat of the day.

 

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