GOING THROUGH IT: Marriage 101

Everybody has struggles in marriage and opinions about marriage – theirs and others. The problem is we often invite people into our business by divulging to much info about our personal, and often very private stuff. And sometimes, lots of times… probably most the time we are prone to share our problems and frustrations with an ear outside the situation before we take it and share those concerns with the Lord.

Oh boy, we can make a mess out of a bad situation and we most definitely can make a bad situation worse when we turn to our flesh and don’t seek help being ‘one’ with our spouse with The One who has grafted us together.

Thankfully the Bible says, ‘A man’s heart plans his way BUT GOD directs his path.’

BUT GOD. Not the husband. Not the wife. Not the in-laws or the watcher-on-ers. (I think I made that word up :o) Regardless of what the issue is or how large it looms God is the only One with perfect understanding and a correct assessment of the situation. He alone sees behind, inside and ahead with perfect clarity. He alone can be trusted to redirect and reset… our thoughts and ways as a couple.

I know some beautiful and inspiring couples but I don’t know any that have a perfect, flawless life individually or blissfully as a married duo.

The trials are different for every home but the reality is every marriage is in the middle of something, heading into it or coming out of ‘it’.

You have just realized you need to figure each other out. Just finished figuring and have seen that you and/or your spouse have come out WAYYYY short. You have toddlers and no sleep. You have young kids and busy schedules. You have teens…. uhmmmm bless your hearts. Health issues. Money issues. Lust or trust issues. Mental disparities. Retirement concerns etc.,

Don’t set around unhappy waiting for the next season… ask God to help you see and experience HIS joy in THIS day as you both walk toward tomorrow.

You see, the devil tries to hold us captive to our ideals, dreams and plans with billboards that say, ‘Are you really happy? Don’t you deserve more?’ or ‘Tell him/her to get it together or you are gone.’ or ‘ ‘Where is your happily-ever-after?’ And while camouflaging the flame of your love affair he boldly stands and opposes your union before heavens throne intervening in hopes that you would overlook God’s presence and power to hold and lead your home and hearts through this very present storm.

The most beneficial blessing of being believers is abiding in the knowledge that God gives us grace to walk through adversity and come out of it.

When you are married you are equipped as a couple to go through it and not only remain together but to reach the rainbow and find you marriage is all the stronger for it.

We LEARN, okay we choose to learn… that even on the days when our spouse is less than we need them to be they are the one we won’t ever be whole without. And vice-versa.

The bond between a husband and wife. That love. That passion. It is beyond our understanding like eternity and salvation. It is something we dream about and catch incredible glimpses of. It is something we believe in and have prayed for but the fullness of it is beyond our comprehension.

How does this work??

The beauty of it is beyond us?

The power and joy we derive from being together is overwhelmingly intoxicating!

Why? Because it comes from above from a Good Father with a great plan who isn’t caught up in time or today but sees beyond this moment where we stand halted and afraid. Who see all our leaving and cleaving can and should be.

You can seek advice but you’ll never receive the best counsel from people who only hear your side of the problem. You won’t even get it from people who hear what is shared from both parties as all versions are tinted by opinion and open to interpretation.

The reality is that while it may be true that it takes a “village to raise a family” it only takes three to equip your marriage to excel beyond even your highest expectations.


I once thought marriage took
Just two to make a go,
But now I am convinced
It takes the Lord also.

And not one marriage fails
Where Christ is asked to enter,
As lovers come together
With Jesus at the center.

But marriage seldom thrives,
And homes are incomplete,
Till He is welcomed there
To help avoid defeat.

In homes where Christ is first,
It’s obvious to see,
Those unions really work,
For marriage still takes three.

Author Unknown

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