Blind Journey

I am an A-type personality so just writing BLIND JOURNEY got my heart a racin’.

Blind. Alone. No itinerary. No reservations. No GPS or my preferred old school atlas.

How would you do that? How do you estimate cost? How do you keep from throwing all your friends and family members into a panic where they are calling or tagging you a couple of times a day?

Now in days LONG gone by (way, way before everyone was toting car phones and definitely before cell phones) I convinced our 2 children and my niece and nephew (ages 4-8) that I was lost. I told them we were going for a drive and having a picnic at a place my mom had taken us when I was little. Then I took off on back roads. When I’d get to an intersection I would sit there and look confused and tell them not to worry because we had PB & J’s so we wouldn’t starve and sooner or later we’d hit a real town with stores and I’d get directions.

Thing is when we would get close to one I’d hit the fringes of it and bypass gas stations, stores and restaurants.

After an hour Eric, my nephew was watching out his window quietly trying to find me help.

It was hilarious… for me.

Eventually I hit my destination… Heber Springs and the lake where our families went camping. However I said nothing and did another stop by the dam and that’s when THEY realized where we were and all excitedly started trying to tell me. I followed their instructions even though I told them I was sure they were mistaken. (wink)

Then lo and behold, TA-DAH! The lake.

Pulling into the picnic area I said they could play while I got out the sandwiches. Of course they wanted to go swimming.

Oh dear what’s a mother and aunt to do?

“Well I guess after we eat you boys could go swimming for a bit. Just slip off your shirts and ya’ll can sit on the tablecloth going home. But I’m afraid you girls are too old to go half naked swimming.”

Then the much anticipated, dramatic whines erupted. “Not fair!…”

I headed toward the back of the car apologizing for getting lost. They offered up options for ways all could swim and fussed at me for getting lost.

And while Curtiss and Erik had taken off running and jumping off rocks in the area, Amanda and Skyye vocally and physically followed me to the back of the car. Their emotions were somewhere between frustration and the overwhelming injustice of only the boys getting to swim.

I looked at them with an apparent frazzled and frustrated expression on my face and sarcastically spoke up as I stuck the key in the trunk our treasured PB&J’s were nestled.

“Ohhh I’m so sorry. If I’d been a good mother and aunt I would have known I was going to be stuck on back roads…” opening the trunk I pressed on with my sad lil’ speech, “… and I’d have been like ‘Oh, I should pack a bag in case we end up at the lake.’ Yeah, cause that is what a good mother and aunt would just KNOW to do. Huh?'”

Their little faces got so sad.

They felt bad for fussing at me.

Bless their hearts.

And that’s when I pulled out towels and everyone’s swimming suits.

Oh the joy and laughter that followed as we ate not just PB & J’s but also chips, fruit drinks AND cookies. Then we donned our water apparel and played.

That wasn’t a blind trip for me but it was for the kids and even when I had them convinced we were lost they ended up slipping back off into being kids and leaving the answers with their mom / aunt. They trusted me.

Okay they trusted me until I didn’t tell them what they wanted to hear but even then they were sensitive to my concern about not being worthy of being ‘good’ and were willing to let it go.

I wonder if you and I are quite that trusting of the One planning our journey. The One with the Plan. The One who is All-wise. Do we have that kind of faith? Do we embrace the vagueness of the blind journey we are on or are we spoiling the trip with our whines and demands?

I have been on about 50 mission teams. Flexibility is key and very much required. Leave room for God.

Before my husband passed we had 24 years in the ministry. Going as God led and leaving for the same reason. Trusting His plans not our own.

Since heaven gained my husband in 2017, I have often felt like those 4 children in my ride so long ago. Everything looks the same but is unfamiliar. The timing feels off. I’m restless. Hungry. I don’t want out of the car but I’m not sure if this ride is what I’d signed up for. I trust Him but I wish I could just twitch my nose like ‘Bewitched’ and be home with Lenny. I’m seeking to be obedient and accepting but flustered feeling and sometimes not feeling very flexible AT ALL.

In the past month or so I’ve decided just to embrace the ‘blind journey’ without understanding the what and the why’s of the path God has laid ahead… again.

I am a passenger traveling without an idea of our itinerary.

Without a map to give counsel from the back seat or make my plans.

Yet I am not quite alone. Dad is behind the wheel and do you know what He pulled out of the trunk when we made that last stop?

Not swim suits but peace and we are having a wonderful time.

Don’t miss out on the journey because His plans are not your own… lean into Him and trust. He will make sure you don’t miss a thing.

PS My kids, nieces and nephews, still like to take journeys with me… their kids refer to them as adventures and that is what life is suppose to look like as we make our way home.

An adventure.

Beautiful.

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