To wander or to wonder

Wandering for whatever reason makes me feel free. My mind is clear. My thoughts unhindered. There is a beauty in the moving toward the horizon. Living in the moment. Embracing the moments. Time isn’t an issue when you abide in the ‘now’.

But wondering? Wondering is exhausting to me. My mind gets logistical. My thoughts circulate without reaching conclusions. Everything seems to require that I have to know something concrete in order to contemplate and understand what might have been or will be. Time is an issue, because you accomplish nothing as real-time moments are wasted as you reside in wonderland.

So different, yet both are so binding.

Wondering requires no action while wandering requires an initiation.

Wondering finds you evolving possibilities in your head but wandering pulses adventure from your heart and mind and prompts your feet to step forward.

Maybe it is just me because I am tired of wondering. Wondering about the what if’s, what should be, what could be. Tired of backtracking the past. Tired of considering all the options for tomorrow.

Wondering locks me down wanting me to take what I really don’t know and make something up. Oddly enough it makes me feel defeated.

Wandering says, “God has a plan, the power and ultimately a purpose. Let’s live today and see what it brings.”

Losing my husband didn’t knock me off course. My mind didn’t get in a rut wondering. My soul continued to step forward as I continued to wander along the path I walked with God. But what loss couldn’t do a multitude of unexpected circumstances accomplished.

My life somehow became a chess match with the enemy who longed for me to get stuck in my head… in the wondering. You see he wasn’t trying to cripple me with those mines that were going off around me, he was trying to take me out. On my knees I recognized it but as I fought to do the right thing I lost momentum in the now.

Alas, in my head, as in yours, our thoughts don’t accomplish the greater things of God. We overthink. Make plans. Consider and consult our flesh. We wonder… aimlessly.

That is the rat’s wheel I found myself on for most of the past year, seeming to go no where but simply killing time. Appeasing others who preferred me to wonder in my head NOT wander with my heart and feet.

Tonight as many watched fireworks, I sat in the stillness trying to remember who I am which can only be done when I remember WHOSE I am.

Don’t stop wandering. Don’t lose the awe of moving with God, anticipating God-sized encounters, experiencing more in each day than the mind could have conceived or dared to wonder.

Life is meant to be an incredible journey.

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